Interview of Chelda Flar from The Legend of Vanx Malic
Interviewer pales visibly, as Chelda walks in and takes a seat near him:
So, (he looks away nervously at the pair of producers standing together a few feet away. Gathers himself.) I didn’t realize how big you were.
Is that a question? Do I look fat?
No. No, Ma’am. I don’t see any fat on you. They didn’t say you were a giant.
I’m not a giant. I am a Gargan. One of my ancestors bred with a giant though. What happened to the other guy?
Um well, last week he was abducted by Rikky Camile, Crimzon and Clover. He hasn’r shown back up? How did you first meet your writer?
If Clover took him, he is probably a dragon turd by now. Yah!
My writer was hoping Vanx Malic would create his own party to venture into the mountains, but Vanx was on vacation, so the writer had to round us up on his own.
Did you think your life would end up being in a book?
I’m in several books, starting with The Legend of Vanx Malic book 3. I am the star of books 3 through 10, but Sir Poops-a-lot, and my girl Moonsey might argue that point. But you won’t.
You are correct. I will not argue with a seven-foot-tall woman with biceps the size of my waist. Are you in any other books?
Good question. I am. I am in Devious Arcana books four, five and six, if that lazy author would finish it. So far just book four, but it is interesting how we got there.
Can you tell me how you got there?
Sorry, no. I had to sign an NDA about Devious Arcana just to do this interview.
What are your favorite scenes in your book: action, dialog, romance?
I’m not much of a romantic. General Gloryvine Moonseed is my wife, now. She is an elf, you know. Not one of the human-like elfs either. She is a fairy elf, and even though she is only four feet tall, I love her with all my heart.
I’m having an issue with that visual.
You will wait until I am no longer here to have your visuals, man.
Yes, I will. Favorite scenes was the question. Have any?
Any time Vanx lets me take the lead and smash stuff. The best is in Vanx 9, but it would be a spoiler to elaborate.
Did you have a hard time convincing your author to write any particular scenes for you?
He sometimes visualizes Moonsy and I too much, but other than that he is cool. He knows he can depend on me. I get called on when needed. I saw little cards on my X feed that are from Vanx Malic’s songs. He is a bard, you know. I wish the author would show the songs Vanx wrote for me, sometime.
I saw those as well. Compelling to say the least. What do you like to do when you are not being actively read somewhere?
Usually, we just hang around the Heart Tree, in Saint Elm, and fight off the hoar witch’s minions, but we had to move. And… well…. The NDA prevents me from saying more.
Asked and answered on the relationship status. Are you happy with the genre your writer has placed you in?
Yah! There is no other genre than fantasy for a seven-foot-tall woman, except maybe in reality as a WNBA player, but when they start fighting it would not end the same. I would bite a piece of face off or twist a limb out of its socket. (The sincerity of the grin on Chelda’s face makes everyone else blanch) The WNBA fight like schoolgirls.
What is the lamest characteristic your writer has given you?
Maybe the idea all I am good for is bashing heads. I am very good at that, but I can cook, and dance. He did a good job back in Vanx 3 of dealing with my father and his judgment over my choice of mates, and how it affected me, though. So, I am not complaining.
Last question. If you could give yourself a superpower what would you choose?
Don’t get me wrong. I love my vagina. But I would like to have two cocks One little-bitty-one for my lover, Moonsey, and one great big one, so I could go rabble rousing with Vanx and Zeezle when our adventures bring us to a town.
What?
The ladies just fall all over them. Yah! (She backhands the interviewer in the chest jovially and he ends up on his back.) Don’t let the visuals of that keep you up tonight.
Find more of Chelda Flarr in The Legend of Vanx Malic books 3-10
https://www.amazon.com/The-Legend-of-Vanx-Malic/dp/B07F7PS9Q9/
And
Devious Arcana Trilogy 2
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DQLNZK6S